From the time I was seventeen to now (24), I haven’t been single for more than a few months. After my first break up, I probably was searching for the next guy I dated but not too actively. I dated that person for about 2.5 years and dumped him, then found interest in another guy, and we dated for about 1.5 years.
Now, I have now been single for about 9 months, and I love it. It turns out I was never actually searching for these men, except for the first one. So I spent a lot of years being in a relationship.
Finally settling into being single, allows me to revisit parts of me that were forgotten while in a relationship. I now have been able to figure out who I am as an adult.
As I grow into myself and figure out what I care about, I can find someone that actually supports my likes and accepts my dislikes without me having to change anything for them.
The life of being single has freed me to, as cheesy as it is, to focus on me. A routine has been created by me, for myself. I work, go to the gym, read, and write.
There are times, I have forgotten where I have put my phone many times. I am not waiting for another text to respond to. There is no technology in my hand when I go outside and enjoy it.
That need to be continuously connected was probably an issue coming from me and shows me that I haven’t found the right guy yet. I feel like I lost myself, and now I am starting to become myself again.
My family has even noticed the change and welcomes it. If you are in a relationship with the correct person that is great. I am not trying to rag on relationships. I have just not found that person yet, and I am not enjoying the time I have with myself.
No matter where you are in your love life, it is vital to understand what you need and give your brain a break. The person you are with should be able to respect that and know that you and the health of your mind comes first.