Failure: How to Succeed

Failing is a part of life. The key is what you do with it after you fail. This is what’s going to make your failure not define your life is going to be.

Failure is part of life, and everyone fails at some point. I find it difficult to push through after failing. The important thing is what you do after the failure.

When I was younger, I heard a saying: “if at first, you don’t succeed try, try again.” It used to drive me crazy. But as an adult, the message is valid.

Not succeeding does not mean that you will never achieve again. Let yourself be frustrated. Give yourself some time to be angry. This time could be a few hours or a day, but I suggest a maximum of a day.

After this period, follow the saying, “try try again.” The challenging part is trying it again, but changing how you perform the task is necessary.

After letting yourself be frustrated, look at what you did when you failed, then think about how to change what you did.

Failure: Moving Forward

Once you find a way to do it differently, try the task again. If you fail again, continue to give yourself time, but I would try a new way a few times before giving up on it. Life can be frustrating. But there is a way to turn failures into success.

Understanding how you fail can help you succeed. Failure can give you a new perspective on what to do or how to change. Instead of seeing that you failed, focus on what you learned from the process.

There is always something that can be learned from being unsuccessful. Take that lesson and use it for something else, something similar. Just remember, you can do it. Even if it is not the ‘normal’ way, there is always a way to achieve the task.

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Frustration Make it Positive

Frustration is part of the healing process. This is a sad fact but there are ways to make it less frustrating. This will help progress happen

The healing process can be a frustrating thing. There are many ups and downs throughout it. One helpful way to feel better on a bad day is to think of a good memory from childhood or something that happened to you the week before.

Maybe your physical therapy session didn’t go how you wanted it to. Try to think of something uplifting. This method can also help when you are very frustrated.

The mind is a powerful thing. Progress is never made when the mind is focused on the negative, or at least that is how it feels. You could be slowly progressing, but you wouldn’t see it because you are looking for the worst.

With a negative mindset, one tends to nitpick all the bad, unsuccessful things happening to them. Even when there are small successes, they get overlooked because the big goal has yet to be achieved.

Frustration to Positivity

There is a unique ability to get out of this negative mindset. I have found that changing my mood into a more positive one does wonders. In order to do this, I think back on past successes. I also try to think of good, fond memories.

These memories will remind me that there is good in life, no matter what ups and downs I face. As I feel myself begin to calm down, I revisit what was making me so frustrated.

Revisiting what caused my frustration allows me to see things differently. With this mood change, I can see the progress I am making, even in a small way.

I have found that seeing progress, no matter how big, can keep me in a positive mindset and motivated to continue. The healing process is about consistency.

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Keeping New Year’s Resolutions

Keeping Resolutions is not easy. There are ways to stay motivated and hopefully keep them long-term. Here are my ways to stay motivated.

Keeping New Year’s Resolutions can be difficult. I have heard that most resolutions are forgotten about by the time February comes around.
We make them with the best intentions, but then life gets busy, and we return to our routines. There is no shame in this. I am guilty of it also.

However, for our lives to change for the better, we need to keep working on these goals. We can be successful with our resolutions.

What we want to accomplish throughout the year is important to us; if it wasn’t, why would you bother making a goal to do it this year.

Keeping Goals: How to

The first thing that keeps me motivated is remembering why you wanted to set this as a resolution in the first place. Was it to help you live a healthier life, or was it to help you live a happier life?

To help me remember this, I have a board in my bedroom by the door. Here I write down my resolutions and the why behind them. This way, I see it every time I leave my room. Put your resolutions in a place you look at often.

Another way to keep yourself going is to set daily reminders on your phone. If your resolution is something you can do in a set amount of time during the day, pick a time to do it and stick with it. An alarm will help make it a habit.

My last suggestion is to make milestones and reward yourself for reaching those milestones. Reward yourself if you keep your resolution for a week, a month, three months, etc.

It could also be helpful if you have an accountability buddy. This can be a family member, friend, or colleague. They will check in with you periodically.

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Happy New Years

New Years is a time for people to reflect on the past year and look forward to the next. It is a good time to change what you wish to change.

New years is a time to reflect and look forward to how you want the year to be. Happy New Year! I am a firm believer that reflection and looking forward can happen at any time. It can be easy to forget to set goals, but this time is a good reminder for us.

I like to begin this process by reflecting on the year I just had, starting with the good. What happened that I enjoyed? Then I move on to what I didn’t like about the year.

Once I have made that list, I look for common themes. These themes allow me to see what I may want to focus on and what I don’t want to focus on.

As you decide what you want to focus on, think of your goals. These don’t have to be big and daunting. They can be small, but they should take significant steps towards what you want to accomplish for the year.

New Years Goal Type

Goals don’t have to be what you want to accomplish; they can include a habit you want to change or something you want to stop doing. Your goals are yours. They can be whatever you want and whatever you desire. There is no right or wrong answer as to what your goals are.

I have made my goals for the year 2023. One of my common goals throughout the years in the past has been to lose weight.

Another goal of mine is to find my passion. I have been lost in my life lately. I am not too sure what I want to do. This year I am hoping to find what I want to do and what I will be happy doing for the rest of my life.

You don’t have to make goals for the new year. Just reflect on the past year and think about what is to come in the new year.

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Easy to Lose Sight of Who You Are

When you are in a tough situation, it is easy to lose yourself. It is important to notice this and find ways to get your personality back.

There are times where it can be easy to lose sight of who you are. Last week I discussed changing jobs when it isn’t right for you.

My previous job, I lost myself. I became miserable and people around me could notice. This hindered my family relationships and friendships.

Finally, I became fed up with the job and quit. I believe that before I find my next job, I need to figure out ways to not lose who I am while working.

Outside Work Activities

Some of the ideas I had were to make sure I continue doing activities that speak to me outside of work. This includes, going to the gym, reading books, hanging out with friends etc.

I believe that if I begin to notice my outside of work activities being pushed aside, I need to reevaluate if the job is worth it.

I won’t quit right away; I just need to either find a way to find myself again or get out of the situation. In order to find oneself, there are many things one can do.

I think the first thing that needs to be done is look back and decide when you were most yourself. Thinking about that time, what does it mean that you were yourself?

Who are you? What activities light you up? You can either make a list and keep it on hand or just keep them in mind for when you need to reference it.

Once you know these activities, I would suggest trying to find ways to incorporate these activities in your day to day.

Take baby steps. Start by doing one activity every day for even half an hour. Please don’t get discouraged if this process takes a while. Keep going. If after weeks, you feel like this hasn’t helped, you can either try a different activity or change what is sucking your personality out of you.

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Jobs: When to Switch and How to

There are times when you get a job and later on decide it isn’t for you. That is okay. Take what you learned and find your next new job.

Sometimes, you need to switch jobs. There can be many different reasons to switch. Some of these can include a bad boss, a bad work environment, a need for different hours, changing industries, moving, an illness that makes you unable to work, etc.

There are many valid reasons to want out of a job. However, before you quit, you probably need to think about a few things.

Why Do You Want to Switch

First, think about why you want out of this job. Do you need to work shorter hours, do you need to be in a different environment, etc.? That reason will help you decide what the right next job is for you.

Next, ponder your timeline. A new job is not guaranteed to appear when you need it. Can you financially handle not having an income for a few months, or do you need to look while you keep working right now?

The last thing I would do before beginning my search is figuring out how to avoid getting myself into the position I am in with my current job. This may include a list of traits I want to see in a boss or how the employees look while they are working.

When I begin searching, I keep what I want and how I want to feel there in mind. I keep an open mind regarding my searches, including job titles, companies, and wages.

Job Search: Keep an Open Mind

The most significant lessons I have learned from my jobs and searches are keeping an open mind, knowing what you want, and listening to your gut.

I learned from my previous job that if you get an uneasy feeling during the interview, it never really goes away once you start working there. It may even get worse.

The one other thing is staying true to yourself when you are switching jobs. No one but you knows what you feel and what you want.

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Therapy: Make Time for Yourself

Therapy is a healthy part of your life. The world is crazy and personal life doesn’t take a break. It’s beneficial to have someone to talk to

Therapy tends to get a bad rap. When people hear that someone is going to therapy, they immediately go to something is wrong with them.

The world is a crazy, unpredictable place. It can feel overwhelming. On top of what is happening in the public world, things are going on in your personal life.

No Shame in going to Therapy

There is no shame in needing extra help to navigate what is going on in life. I always turn to my friends and family, but there are also times when I want someone’s opinion who is completely removed.

It can be beneficial to hear an opinion from someone who has no relation to what is happening in life. Therapy can offer a different and new perspective.

The therapist could provide a piece to the puzzle you have been missing.
I felt at the time that therapy is a nuisance. “I have so much to do, and I don’t have time to sit and talk about my feelings to someone.” It is okay to feel. I am sure everyone could have these thoughts at times.

Choosing Yourself

I have found that when I have those thoughts, that is probably when I need it the most. It requires discipline. Discipline when you need it the most can be the most difficult.

It is worth it. I view taking the time to go to therapy as choosing yourself. When you choose yourself, you will be happier in life.

We all have feelings, and some of the feelings take time to process. We are all just trying to live the best life we can live. If for you that means going to therapy, do it!

Even when life is good, keep going. If you keep going to therapy even when you feel like you don’t need it, when something does come up, you already have an appointment. You can process things as they come up, and you don’t have to wait for the next available appointment.

Therapy is suitable for everyone. There is no shame in talking to someone; it is a healthy choice. Choose yourself.

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Trusting Doctor’s Opinions in an Unknown World

The ability to trust a doctor is crucial. They are the ones we turn to when things are wrong. We need to trust that they advocate for us.

Having a doctor you trust is vital. When there is something wrong with your body, doctors are who we turn to. They are considered the experts.

I used just to accept that my doctor knew everything and would listen to my concerns. While I have always been heard, my recently received responses are disheartening.

I have gained some weight and developed a sharp pain in my stomach. I felt dismissed when I went to my first doctor to discuss my symptoms. They told me to lose weight, and everything will return to normal.

I accepted this because they were the doctor, and they knew best. I began my journey to lose weight. A few months in, something didn’t feel right. I trusted my doctor and started the program he wanted me to do.

Turning Point

When I began my first full-time job, I changed my health insurance provider, which meant switching doctors. After a year of my pain getting worse, I went to my new doctor.

At this appointment, I had probably gained more weight or didn’t lose any. The doctor listened to my story and referred me to a gastroenterologist. The suggestion was that I get an endoscopy and colonoscopy.

I felt excited that someone had listened to me and accepted that there might be more than just my weight. While these aren’t pleasant tests, they did turn up conditions. I was diagnosed with gastritis and esophagitis.

They also found a precancerous polyp in my colon. That is when it hit me; if I hadn’t changed my doctor, that polyp would have probably turned into cancer.

Finding Trust

The diagnosis also meant that I could start healing and living my life. I felt great until a month before my colonoscopy and endoscopy. Fast-forward to now, I still have my diagnosis.

The good news is that I have amazing doctors that I completely trust. I now have faith that I will be heard and worked with when I have an issue.

I have started a blog about my journey in healing gastritis. If you are curious about my journey, please check it out.

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Regrets: Life is Full of Them

Regrets are a part of decision-making. They happen. They are also a consequence of taking risks. Some risks flop, but taking risks allows forward movement.

When making decisions, regrets may happen. There are times when you make one choice and then realize it is not something you want to do.

I was recently in a situation where I regretted saying yet to something. I decided to quit my job, which I stand by. However, during my last two weeks, I was asked if I wanted to go part-time. At the time, I said yes. Days later, when I was still stressing about it, I realized that I regretted this decision.

I finished working last Friday. After a stressful afternoon, I told my boss that I decided that working part-time would not work for me. I ended up just quitting. While it is not the easiest to quit a job without a plan, sometimes you have to do it.

This job was not good for my mental health, and it was time for me to find something that I could call a career. I have excellent support around me and understanding people.

I believe that regrets are part of life. When you regret a decision, there are things you have to remember and steps you can take to correct it.

How to Handle Regrets

The first thing to remember is that most decisions are never final. If you make one choice, you can choose to change the choice or make a different decision to change what you picked.

Next is that you should feel no shame in changing your mind. It is difficult to tell someone you will do something and then backtrack on what you said. While this is difficult, you need to remember it is your life, and you have to feel good about what you do with it.

When you choose your happiness over pleasing people, life will be enjoyable. It is okay to have regrets. The key is to know how to fix it to feel good about your life.

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Great Resignation: A Turning Point

The great resignation can be a turning point for the American workforce. This change may be able to benefit people with brain injuries.

Since the pandemic, the workforce has changed. Everyone is realizing that they can work from home in certain professions. Many people have heard about this thing called the great resignation.

The workers want these changes, but the companies they work for are running behind schedule. This is creating people wanting to quit.

People want flexibility and the luxury of working from home. This has the potential to create a better work-life balance. That is the crux of this problem. The idea that we must work our lives away is awful.

The lack of work-life balance in America creates mental health problems for the workforce. Now that workers have been able to take a step back, they have come to realize that prioritizing mental health is vital to a good life.

Increased flexibility would allow for more free time in life and take a mental health day when needed.

Great Resignation: Revamp

The work-life in America needs a revamp. The ability to take a mental health day needs to be the norm. I have personally felt it. I lied and said that I had a few appointments one day so that I could take the day off.

Workers have made it clear that these kinds of changes are necessary. Companies now need to realize that workers will come back if these changes are made.

Work flexibility doesn’t have to mean a lack of productivity; in fact, other countries with a shorter workweek have shown that employees are more productive than a typical forty-hour workweek.

Great Resgination: A plus for Brain Injuries

If changes are actually made, this may benefit people with brain injuries. Some people can’t work due to their injury because it is too overwhelming and exhausting.

When the work environment becomes more relaxed and/or the week gets shorter, people with brain injuries may be able to reenter the workforce.

If you are new here, welcome. Please head over to My Story and read more about me.