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Failure: How to Succeed

Failing is a part of life. The key is what you do with it after you fail. This is what’s going to make your failure not define your life is going to be.

Failure is part of life, and everyone fails at some point. I find it difficult to push through after failing. The important thing is what you do after the failure.

When I was younger, I heard a saying: “if at first, you don’t succeed try, try again.” It used to drive me crazy. But as an adult, the message is valid.

Not succeeding does not mean that you will never achieve again. Let yourself be frustrated. Give yourself some time to be angry. This time could be a few hours or a day, but I suggest a maximum of a day.

After this period, follow the saying, “try try again.” The challenging part is trying it again, but changing how you perform the task is necessary.

After letting yourself be frustrated, look at what you did when you failed, then think about how to change what you did.

Failure: Moving Forward

Once you find a way to do it differently, try the task again. If you fail again, continue to give yourself time, but I would try a new way a few times before giving up on it. Life can be frustrating. But there is a way to turn failures into success.

Understanding how you fail can help you succeed. Failure can give you a new perspective on what to do or how to change. Instead of seeing that you failed, focus on what you learned from the process.

There is always something that can be learned from being unsuccessful. Take that lesson and use it for something else, something similar. Just remember, you can do it. Even if it is not the ‘normal’ way, there is always a way to achieve the task.

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Frustration Make it Positive

Frustration is part of the healing process. This is a sad fact but there are ways to make it less frustrating. This will help progress happen

The healing process can be a frustrating thing. There are many ups and downs throughout it. One helpful way to feel better on a bad day is to think of a good memory from childhood or something that happened to you the week before.

Maybe your physical therapy session didn’t go how you wanted it to. Try to think of something uplifting. This method can also help when you are very frustrated.

The mind is a powerful thing. Progress is never made when the mind is focused on the negative, or at least that is how it feels. You could be slowly progressing, but you wouldn’t see it because you are looking for the worst.

With a negative mindset, one tends to nitpick all the bad, unsuccessful things happening to them. Even when there are small successes, they get overlooked because the big goal has yet to be achieved.

Frustration to Positivity

There is a unique ability to get out of this negative mindset. I have found that changing my mood into a more positive one does wonders. In order to do this, I think back on past successes. I also try to think of good, fond memories.

These memories will remind me that there is good in life, no matter what ups and downs I face. As I feel myself begin to calm down, I revisit what was making me so frustrated.

Revisiting what caused my frustration allows me to see things differently. With this mood change, I can see the progress I am making, even in a small way.

I have found that seeing progress, no matter how big, can keep me in a positive mindset and motivated to continue. The healing process is about consistency.

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Keeping New Year’s Resolutions

Keeping Resolutions is not easy. There are ways to stay motivated and hopefully keep them long-term. Here are my ways to stay motivated.

Keeping New Year’s Resolutions can be difficult. I have heard that most resolutions are forgotten about by the time February comes around.
We make them with the best intentions, but then life gets busy, and we return to our routines. There is no shame in this. I am guilty of it also.

However, for our lives to change for the better, we need to keep working on these goals. We can be successful with our resolutions.

What we want to accomplish throughout the year is important to us; if it wasn’t, why would you bother making a goal to do it this year.

Keeping Goals: How to

The first thing that keeps me motivated is remembering why you wanted to set this as a resolution in the first place. Was it to help you live a healthier life, or was it to help you live a happier life?

To help me remember this, I have a board in my bedroom by the door. Here I write down my resolutions and the why behind them. This way, I see it every time I leave my room. Put your resolutions in a place you look at often.

Another way to keep yourself going is to set daily reminders on your phone. If your resolution is something you can do in a set amount of time during the day, pick a time to do it and stick with it. An alarm will help make it a habit.

My last suggestion is to make milestones and reward yourself for reaching those milestones. Reward yourself if you keep your resolution for a week, a month, three months, etc.

It could also be helpful if you have an accountability buddy. This can be a family member, friend, or colleague. They will check in with you periodically.

If you are new here, welcome! Please feel free to read my story to learn more about me.

Easy to Lose Sight of Who You Are

When you are in a tough situation, it is easy to lose yourself. It is important to notice this and find ways to get your personality back.

There are times where it can be easy to lose sight of who you are. Last week I discussed changing jobs when it isn’t right for you.

My previous job, I lost myself. I became miserable and people around me could notice. This hindered my family relationships and friendships.

Finally, I became fed up with the job and quit. I believe that before I find my next job, I need to figure out ways to not lose who I am while working.

Outside Work Activities

Some of the ideas I had were to make sure I continue doing activities that speak to me outside of work. This includes, going to the gym, reading books, hanging out with friends etc.

I believe that if I begin to notice my outside of work activities being pushed aside, I need to reevaluate if the job is worth it.

I won’t quit right away; I just need to either find a way to find myself again or get out of the situation. In order to find oneself, there are many things one can do.

I think the first thing that needs to be done is look back and decide when you were most yourself. Thinking about that time, what does it mean that you were yourself?

Who are you? What activities light you up? You can either make a list and keep it on hand or just keep them in mind for when you need to reference it.

Once you know these activities, I would suggest trying to find ways to incorporate these activities in your day to day.

Take baby steps. Start by doing one activity every day for even half an hour. Please don’t get discouraged if this process takes a while. Keep going. If after weeks, you feel like this hasn’t helped, you can either try a different activity or change what is sucking your personality out of you.

If you are new here, welcome. Please head over to My Story to read more about how I got my brain injury. Or follow me on Social Media.

Jobs: When to Switch and How to

There are times when you get a job and later on decide it isn’t for you. That is okay. Take what you learned and find your next new job.

Sometimes, you need to switch jobs. There can be many different reasons to switch. Some of these can include a bad boss, a bad work environment, a need for different hours, changing industries, moving, an illness that makes you unable to work, etc.

There are many valid reasons to want out of a job. However, before you quit, you probably need to think about a few things.

Why Do You Want to Switch

First, think about why you want out of this job. Do you need to work shorter hours, do you need to be in a different environment, etc.? That reason will help you decide what the right next job is for you.

Next, ponder your timeline. A new job is not guaranteed to appear when you need it. Can you financially handle not having an income for a few months, or do you need to look while you keep working right now?

The last thing I would do before beginning my search is figuring out how to avoid getting myself into the position I am in with my current job. This may include a list of traits I want to see in a boss or how the employees look while they are working.

When I begin searching, I keep what I want and how I want to feel there in mind. I keep an open mind regarding my searches, including job titles, companies, and wages.

Job Search: Keep an Open Mind

The most significant lessons I have learned from my jobs and searches are keeping an open mind, knowing what you want, and listening to your gut.

I learned from my previous job that if you get an uneasy feeling during the interview, it never really goes away once you start working there. It may even get worse.

The one other thing is staying true to yourself when you are switching jobs. No one but you knows what you feel and what you want.

If you are new here, welcome! Please feel free to read My Story about how I got my brain injury.

Therapy: Make Time for Yourself

Therapy is a healthy part of your life. The world is crazy and personal life doesn’t take a break. It’s beneficial to have someone to talk to

Therapy tends to get a bad rap. When people hear that someone is going to therapy, they immediately go to something is wrong with them.

The world is a crazy, unpredictable place. It can feel overwhelming. On top of what is happening in the public world, things are going on in your personal life.

No Shame in going to Therapy

There is no shame in needing extra help to navigate what is going on in life. I always turn to my friends and family, but there are also times when I want someone’s opinion who is completely removed.

It can be beneficial to hear an opinion from someone who has no relation to what is happening in life. Therapy can offer a different and new perspective.

The therapist could provide a piece to the puzzle you have been missing.
I felt at the time that therapy is a nuisance. “I have so much to do, and I don’t have time to sit and talk about my feelings to someone.” It is okay to feel. I am sure everyone could have these thoughts at times.

Choosing Yourself

I have found that when I have those thoughts, that is probably when I need it the most. It requires discipline. Discipline when you need it the most can be the most difficult.

It is worth it. I view taking the time to go to therapy as choosing yourself. When you choose yourself, you will be happier in life.

We all have feelings, and some of the feelings take time to process. We are all just trying to live the best life we can live. If for you that means going to therapy, do it!

Even when life is good, keep going. If you keep going to therapy even when you feel like you don’t need it, when something does come up, you already have an appointment. You can process things as they come up, and you don’t have to wait for the next available appointment.

Therapy is suitable for everyone. There is no shame in talking to someone; it is a healthy choice. Choose yourself.

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Regrets: Life is Full of Them

Regrets are a part of decision-making. They happen. They are also a consequence of taking risks. Some risks flop, but taking risks allows forward movement.

When making decisions, regrets may happen. There are times when you make one choice and then realize it is not something you want to do.

I was recently in a situation where I regretted saying yet to something. I decided to quit my job, which I stand by. However, during my last two weeks, I was asked if I wanted to go part-time. At the time, I said yes. Days later, when I was still stressing about it, I realized that I regretted this decision.

I finished working last Friday. After a stressful afternoon, I told my boss that I decided that working part-time would not work for me. I ended up just quitting. While it is not the easiest to quit a job without a plan, sometimes you have to do it.

This job was not good for my mental health, and it was time for me to find something that I could call a career. I have excellent support around me and understanding people.

I believe that regrets are part of life. When you regret a decision, there are things you have to remember and steps you can take to correct it.

How to Handle Regrets

The first thing to remember is that most decisions are never final. If you make one choice, you can choose to change the choice or make a different decision to change what you picked.

Next is that you should feel no shame in changing your mind. It is difficult to tell someone you will do something and then backtrack on what you said. While this is difficult, you need to remember it is your life, and you have to feel good about what you do with it.

When you choose your happiness over pleasing people, life will be enjoyable. It is okay to have regrets. The key is to know how to fix it to feel good about your life.

If you are new here, welcome. Please read My Story to learn more about me.

Helmets: They save lives

Helmets are an important piece of equipment. Just like knee pads, they can help protect a vital organ that allows you to function.

Thankfully, my dad wears helmets. A little over a month ago, there was a severe accident in my family. My dad was on his usual bike ride when he had his accident. There was no foul play involved. We have minimal information as to what happened.

He was unable to remember anything for more than five seconds. After scans and tests, his doctors concluded that he was suffering from a slight brain bleed. After 24 hours in the hospital, he improved enough to come home.

A brain bleed is just what it sounds, but for my dad, the bleed wasn’t entirely in the brain; it was in the layers between the skull and the brain. It was a minimal bleed.

Once he was home, he slept a lot and had to take things slow. Now, he is almost entirely back to normal. That is a result of a concussion. It is a slow process, but every day he continues to improve.

Normal means that he is able to work all day without the need for a nap. His recovery is impressive. There were some estimates that the healing process would take more than three months.

He has not fully healed, but he is now expected to make a full recovery. This prognosis is thanks to the fact that he was wearing his helmet.

Helmets provide protection

A helmet will not stop every injury, but it can save your life. Some people choose not to wear helmets because the helmets are not fashionable.

Our culture needs to normalize wearing a helmet. The helmet needs to be worn for safety and protection.

I tell you this story to ask you to wear a helmet when you participate in sports requiring one.

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Transitions: There is no escape

Life is full of transitions. They are natural and we can’t stop them from happening. The control you have is how you handle the transition.

I haven’t posted in a while. I was busy finishing school assignments. Now I am done. There are classic transitions in life, and then there are unusual transitions.

As children, all we know in school. Suddenly, we graduate from high school or college, and it is time to enter the career world.

I have experienced that having a job is very different from going to school daily. This is a natural step to take in life. The most challenging transition is that you don’t get summers off.

Oh well, the loss of extended breaks from work is tough, but the adult world is different. Other transitions in life can include getting married, going through a breakup, moving, or retiring.

Transitions Reflection

After any transition, it is essential to some time to reflect. This allows you to take inventory and move forward how you want your life to look like.

While taking inventory, think about what you did not like in the previous life stage and how you can change it with this new adventure.

It is also vital to examine what you enjoyed and think of ways to keep the components you enjoy. There are always ways to change and retain what you want.

I have found it helpful to talk about how you are feeling with a trusted friend or family member. They may have different ideas for you.

Trusted friends and family members have given me new perspectives or ways of handling the new journey in life. This transition time may be uncomfortable.

For however long, you have been living in a routine for some amount of time, and now that routine is changing. Change is difficult, and it will result in some uncomfortable times.

Being uncomfortable is okay; it is how we grow as people. I genuinely believe that in the end, everything will work out.

If you are new here, welcome. If you want to know more, please read my story.

Mental Health: How to Stay Fit

With everything that happened last year, mental health is important to stay on top of. In this post, I offer ways I stay mentally ‘fit’.

Mental Health is vital to a healthy life. This past year has highlighted that there are many crises, and it needs to be addressed.

It is important that if you are having an emergency or in danger, get help immediately. While there is a need to stay healthy physically, your mind needs attention too.

With the COVID pandemic, our lives have drastically changed. This can lead to anxiety or depression. If you already feel anxious or depressed, get help.

There are ways to keep your mental health in check before you get anxious and depressed. These tips are things you can do every day that will not take too much time.

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