Regrets: Life is Full of Them

Regrets are a part of decision-making. They happen. They are also a consequence of taking risks. Some risks flop, but taking risks allows forward movement.

When making decisions, regrets may happen. There are times when you make one choice and then realize it is not something you want to do.

I was recently in a situation where I regretted saying yet to something. I decided to quit my job, which I stand by. However, during my last two weeks, I was asked if I wanted to go part-time. At the time, I said yes. Days later, when I was still stressing about it, I realized that I regretted this decision.

I finished working last Friday. After a stressful afternoon, I told my boss that I decided that working part-time would not work for me. I ended up just quitting. While it is not the easiest to quit a job without a plan, sometimes you have to do it.

This job was not good for my mental health, and it was time for me to find something that I could call a career. I have excellent support around me and understanding people.

I believe that regrets are part of life. When you regret a decision, there are things you have to remember and steps you can take to correct it.

How to Handle Regrets

The first thing to remember is that most decisions are never final. If you make one choice, you can choose to change the choice or make a different decision to change what you picked.

Next is that you should feel no shame in changing your mind. It is difficult to tell someone you will do something and then backtrack on what you said. While this is difficult, you need to remember it is your life, and you have to feel good about what you do with it.

When you choose your happiness over pleasing people, life will be enjoyable. It is okay to have regrets. The key is to know how to fix it to feel good about your life.

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Giving Thanks: Making the most of life

Thanksgiving is a time to remind us that we need to take time to give thanks. It is always important to give thanks.

Thursday is Thanksgiving in the United States. Sometimes after an injury, it can be challenging to find what you are grateful for. There is always something to give thanks about.

I believe that life will be happier if one can find at least something good in life. I think I have said it before, and I will repeat it, you are here reading this right now. That means you are alive and breathing. That is something to be thankful for.

There are times when you feel as though there is nothing to be thankful for, but I promise there is always something. Being grateful can improve mood and outlook on life.

Life can be difficult. There are plenty of times when nothing seems to be going your way. This can be especially true after suffering a brain injury.

The importance of appreciating when you have can help you get through the day. Long, hard days are rough and finding even one thing to be thankful for can turn your outlook on the day around.

Things to give thanks for

I am thankful for my family. They never gave up on me and stuck with me when I needed them the most. They are the reason I can do everything I can today.

I am grateful that I was able to finish school. It took a lot of work and persistence, but I never gave up and worked as hard as possible to be successful.

I am thrilled that I have gained my independence to do things I want to do. There was a question when I was born as to what I would be able to do.

As crazy as it sounds, I am thankful for my brain injury. It is the reason I am who I am and work as hard as I do to succeed in what I want.

This week, I challenge you to keep track of things you are thankful for. You don’t even have to celebrate Thanksgiving on Thursday to participate in this challenge. Let me know what you come up with.

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Helmets: They save lives

Helmets are an important piece of equipment. Just like knee pads, they can help protect a vital organ that allows you to function.

Thankfully, my dad wears helmets. A little over a month ago, there was a severe accident in my family. My dad was on his usual bike ride when he had his accident. There was no foul play involved. We have minimal information as to what happened.

He was unable to remember anything for more than five seconds. After scans and tests, his doctors concluded that he was suffering from a slight brain bleed. After 24 hours in the hospital, he improved enough to come home.

A brain bleed is just what it sounds, but for my dad, the bleed wasn’t entirely in the brain; it was in the layers between the skull and the brain. It was a minimal bleed.

Once he was home, he slept a lot and had to take things slow. Now, he is almost entirely back to normal. That is a result of a concussion. It is a slow process, but every day he continues to improve.

Normal means that he is able to work all day without the need for a nap. His recovery is impressive. There were some estimates that the healing process would take more than three months.

He has not fully healed, but he is now expected to make a full recovery. This prognosis is thanks to the fact that he was wearing his helmet.

Helmets provide protection

A helmet will not stop every injury, but it can save your life. Some people choose not to wear helmets because the helmets are not fashionable.

Our culture needs to normalize wearing a helmet. The helmet needs to be worn for safety and protection.

I tell you this story to ask you to wear a helmet when you participate in sports requiring one.

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Overwhelmed at work: Stay Calm

When your job is overwhelming, it can prove difficult to get work done. There are ways to stay calm and able to complete the work.

Work can be an overwhelming process. There are jobs to get done, people asking questions and phones ringing off the hook. When in an office, there is so much going on.

It is easy to become overwhelmed with everything that needs to get done and the happenings around you. To survive in this kind of workplace, you need to have various ways to calm down.

Make a List

The first thing I decide to do is make a list of things I have to do. Seeing my list makes me feel calmer and less overwhelmed. When one lays out the tasks, they are no longer floating around in my head.

When I make a list, my head is calmer. I am able to focus my energy on what I need to do. When I spend less time lamenting over what I must do; I am able to spend more time doing the tasks.

A list will provide you a place where you can cross off what you have done. This is a visible representation of what you have accomplished.

Take a deep breath

There are times when making a list will not help. It can aid in feeling calm is taking a deep breath. This can help the mind calm down when it starts spinning out of control.

If you need to take a deep breath, it can help to close your eyes while you do it. When your eyes are closed, imagine you are somewhere that makes you feel relaxed.

Overwhelmed: Go for a walk

If taking a deep breath did not do the trick, take a break. Walk away from your desk. If it is a nice day, take a walk and get some fresh air.

Fresh air can clear your mind and when you go back inside to get work done. A quiet place outside for even two minutes is relaxing.

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Introverts: Interacting with Extroverts

Introverts and extroverts are opposites but sometime the people closest to you are the opposite. It is vital to figure out how to make the relationship work

Introverts are quiet and reserved. Social activities tend to drain their energy. When they need to recharge, they need to be alone.

Extroverts are outgoing and overtly expressive. They gain energy from social activities. They are able to recharge with people around them.

I am an introvert. I need to be alone to recharge, and I feel drained after constant social activities. After a social event lasting hours, I need to recharge for at least the rest of the day.

I have people in my life that are especially important who happen to be extroverts. This presents a unique challenge in our relationship.

I am sure we all know people who are the opposite of us. We have to figure out how to coexist with them or love them.

Both of you need to meet in the middle. Both of you need to understand what the other needs. This allows you to come to an agreement that allows your relationship to grow strong.

Introverts: Make Agreements

Some of these agreements will not be ideal for you, but others will not be ideal for the other person. It is vital to make sure you both are okay with these agreements.

You can agree that one of you will call once a week. This way, you always know when this will happen. You can decide once in a while to go to the movies, so there is less pressure to talk.

You can take a class together, have a meal with each other or go for a walk. Make sure there is time for some talking, but also there are times where no one has to be talking.

The important thing to save the relationship is to communicate. If you are the introvert, your extrovert friend may not even be aware that you are feeling drained from social interactions.

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Large job: Breaking it into small tasks

A large task can be daunting. It proves difficult to motivate to do a job that has many components. It needs to be broken down into small tasks.

It can be challenging to stay motivated when you are faced with an enormous job at hand or even a long to-do list. It will allow you to feel better and start the process of accomplishing the task.

A task that you are dreading on doing can be put off for a long time. It will be less daunting if the tremendous job is scaring you away.

Large Job: How to

I would suggest trying to break the task up. If you need to clean the house, take on each room at a time. In that room, dust everything, then vacuum and then organize but, each room needs different tasks, but if you focus on one task, it will get completed.

I like to start with a task that will take less than 20 minutes, do it first and this method gets me in the mindset of performing the job and shows progress in a short amount of time.

After these shorter tasks are done, decide on a job that will take longer but can be easily paused if you get interrupted.

How this helps

Breaking a task into smaller tasks can help keep one motivated. You will see progress towards completing the desired objective.

Through performing these smaller tasks, you will feel a sense of accomplishment. If you are trying to achieve an enormous job, it is difficult to feel like you have made progress when the task is not finished.

Smaller tasks will not overwhelm yourself. It is easy to delay a job or not do it at all when you are overwhelmed with what needs to get done.

The smaller individual tasks allow the significant responsibility to be more manageable. If things are viewed as more manageable, they are more likely to be done.

It is not always simple to break a task down; if you feel overwhelmed, reach out to someone and ask for their help. The ability to get advice from someone is vital to success.

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De-stress and Relax during this tough time

With everything going on in the world right now, it is easy to have fear and be stressed. It is important to de-stress and stay healthy.

In this crazy time we are living in, it is essential to find ways to relax and de-stress. The world’s situation is changing every day. There are fear and worry in the world.

I have experienced various symptoms that are closely related to being stressed.

In a time where it is vital to stay healthy, one way to stay healthy is not to stress or be tense. This is not an easy task.

De-stress ideas

One primary way I have found to de-stress is to take time for me. I have been quarantining with my family. This means being in close quarters with others.

What you do with your time is entirely up to you. One option is to read a fiction book. Fiction books can allow you to escape to a different world.

For just part of the day, you can be in a world without the stressors of your current world.

I have also found that writing has helped me. It is better to get your feelings out and not keep them bottled up. If you are unable to talk to your loved ones about it, write it down. No one has to see it, but this will allow you to get your feelings out of your mind.

Do something creative. Drawing or coloring is quite relaxing. You can put music on or watch a show while you do it. If you are doing this activity as a relaxing activity, make sure others know not to disturb you.

Get outside. The fresh air will be good. The sunshine will provide you with natural vitamin D. Just remember to distance yourself from others and be safe.

My final suggestion is to not look at the news all the time. I have gotten into the habit of looking at the news in the morning and evening. This allows me to know what is going on in the world but not get overwhelmed or stressed about the state of the world.

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Patience: No need to get frustrated

After a brain injury, your life changes. The process of relearning everything requires patience. It is important to not be frustrated with yourself.

It can be tough to be patient with yourself when it takes longer to complete a task. This can especially be true after sustaining a brain injury.

If you sustained an injury in the middle of your life, you probably remember how easy something was to do. From what you remember, reading a book only took you a few days, but now it takes you weeks.

That is okay. Since you sustained an injury, your life is going to be different. The joy of the brain is that it can be rewired to relearn what you used to know.

The thing about the rewiring of the brain is that it takes time. It can be and will be frustrating. I have found that it can help if you break up your big goal into small feat.

If your goal is to be able to walk again, start with a simple goal; maybe it is standing or being able to take a step. Something small that progresses to your goal.

A small goal will help you see progress. It will hopefully keep your spirits up and make you know that you are making progress.

Patience: Injury before memory

If you sustained your brain injury before you have memories of before, you need a different kind of patience. The thing I have found is that my patience has come into play because people around me get things faster than I do.

It is not easy seeing your friend or little brother understand math or read a chapter book before you. For me, it was extremely frustrating.

Not matter what age you are, seeing someone close to you succeed in what you want to achieve in can
be demoralizing.

In an earlier post, I discussed how we are all on our own timelines. This stands true for life events or learning how to do a task.

Make sure you break what you want to succeed in, into breaking it up into small accomplishments. This will help you be patient with the more significant task. Patience is a virtue.

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Friends: Making and Keeping them.

Friends are a great support system to get through life. It can be difficult to make friends, especially if you are an introvert.

When I was growing up, some people could make friends in two seconds, and then there were people like me who had a hard time making friends.

I have always been shy and timid when I meet people, and I am not the kind of person that will go up to strangers and talk to them.

I am not sure if this is a result of my brain injury or if it is just who I am, but I have a few excellent friends. That works for me.

I have met more of my friends from classes, friends of friends, and from family . Those are valid ways to make friends. Maybe your brain injury has made you more of an introvert or more of an extrovert.

I am happy with just a few close friends. I get overwhelmed with a lot of people around me, but you may prefer a lot of people as opposed to only a few people.

Friends: Putting yourself out there

There have been times where I have needed to put myself out there. It can be nerve-wracking and uncomfortable. That is okay.

Stepping out of your comfort zone is necessary at times. The times I have put myself out there, it has resulted in some of my closest friends in my life.

A way to put yourself out there is to sit next to someone new at lunch or in class. It doesn’t have to be big, start by introducing yourself and see where it goes.

The big thing is not to get discouraged if they don’t seem interested. It is okay if you strike out a few times. Keep trying.

I have friends from college and high school. The hardest part for me now is keeping in touch. We live in a world where we have texting, social media, and can call others.

It shouldn’t be too difficult, but for me it is. I try to every day, text, or contact at least one of my friends. This allows me to keep them close to me.

Remember to keep in contact with the people who are important to you.

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Negativity: It can hold us back

After a brain injury, negative emotions consume your every thought. It is important to battle the negativity and change to positive thoughts.

We live in a world where negativity is all around us. Since it is all around us, we need to be extra careful to find the positive in life. This is easier said than done.

It is also something that requires practice. To be able to find the positive in life, you need to start off by carving out time to look for the positive.

I understand, when you get in a negative state, it is difficult to get out of it. This can be especially tough when you are dealing with a brain injury.

I have found that when I started, I needed to find something small and simple. Start with the fact that you are alive, or you can read.

These two examples are things you are actively doing right now. It doesn’t have to be significant. Some days I can be thankful that I got out of bed.

Negativity will not allow for progress. It is crucial not to dwell on the past. You need to work on focusing on what you can do.

After a brain injury, your life has changed. That is okay. Focus on what you can do and what you have accomplished since your injury.

I have found that it is also useful to look towards what you could accomplish in the future. There is a world of possibilities for your future after your injury.

Negativity can push others away

Recovering from an injury can be difficult and requires social support. Nobody enjoys being around someone who is negative all the time.

The people around you understand it is difficult to be positive; it will go a long way if they can see that you are trying to be positive.

It will take time to be used to find the positive in life and it will get easier as time goes by. Believe in yourself.

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