School is the first real experience of having a deadline to get stuff done. It is important for people with brain injuries to learn the best way for them to manage their time.
We have all heard the words time management. We know what it means. It means being able to be productive promptly.
This is an important concept when there is a lot on the to-do list and deadlines to meet. The first time we learn about time management is during school.
I don’t remember specifically, but I believe that when I had to start learning how to manage my time was in high school. That is when my readings got more time-consuming, and I had to write more papers.
I believe the big thing I needed to learn with my brain injury was how long it would take me to complete a task. After that, knowing what I needed to get done was more comfortable to plan for.
This allowed me to have an idea each night how long what I needed to get done would take me. This translated into college life as well.
The issue in high school and college was friends. I loved them to death, but they were always able to finish in a faster time than me. This allowed them to go have fun.
There were times when I had to decline because I would not have been able to finish what I needed too quickly.
Sometimes its difficult for them to understand. My friends wanted me to go with them and not ‘be lame’ and do homework.
The thing they didn’t understand was that I wasn’t trying to be lame, I was just trying to do my job. My job was school, and if I felt that it wasn’t finished, I was going to finish it.
It was vital for me to do what I needed to do and stick with it. I had a lot more fun doing stuff with friends when I didn’t have to worry about work.
Some people will never understand the importance of what you need to do, especially if it isn’t a fun choice. It is necessary to stick to what you believe is the correct choice.
If they are good friends, they will understand.
The brain becomes exhausted quickly when it is injured. Sometimes it becomes difficult to live a normal life with this fatigue
Everyone tends to talk about how people with brain injuries suffer from neurofatigue. Neurofatigue means that the brain can tire quickly. I think I have not experienced a lot of neurofatigue until I joined the workforce.
Throughout my schooling years, I was not mentally tired. There were times when I thought I was mentally exhausted but turns out it was nothing compared to what I have experienced in the past couple of months.
It turns out that what I used to think was me being an introvert during school was probably mental fatigue. I used to need time for myself and rest without people around me. This occurred after especially rough days.
Now I believe that I was fatigued. My need for breaks from others was a result of my fatigue, I didn’t know how to read it.
Even through college, I was able to take enough breaks throughout the day, my mental capacity was able to be sustained.
Now, I am in the ‘adult’ workforce as I like to call it. I am working eight hours a day. I am doing what I enjoy, and I am helping others live their best lives.
It’s a rewarding job, but it is physical. On top of being mentally exhausting, I am physically exhausted. This means I need to try to find time to do what I want to do. I love to write, but sometimes my brain cannot handle it at the end of the day.
I am trying to use exercise as mental relaxation. It allows me to let my mind wander for a bit and then when I get home I am more willing to do activities that require more mental energy than just watching TV.
It is important to take care of yourself if yo think you are depressed and don’t be afraid to talk to someone.
Anyone can suffer from depression. It is not unique to an injury, but a brain injury can cause depression. It is essential to understand that right off the bat.
People who don’t have a TBI or ABI can have depression too. I can’t say for sure that I have depression because of what happened to me, but I can argue that its possible.
The important thing is that don’t ignore it if you think you have depression. You need to be able to know the signs and understand what to do about them.
Take a minute, notice how you feel right now. Was it tough to get out of bed this morning or do you have a lack of interest in doing something you used to love to do.
If you think you are depressed, it is essential to talk to someone about it. Don’t just keep it in. It doesn’t have to be a doctor, only a trusted adult.
The most important thing is to find help and take care of yourself.
There are never enough hours in the day. When you have a brain injury this is more than true. Everything takes longer and it is important to find strategies to help complete what you can.
Everyone says there are not enough hours during the day. It is true no matter who you are. But with a brain injury, it is even more difficult.
The ability to perform a task can slow after a brain injury. It is essential to take time to complete what you want to do.
The time it requires to finish a task can put this famous saying into reality. For me, reading a chapter takes the time it takes my friends to read multiple chapters.
This makes me not want to read often or at all. I enjoy reading, but it just takes a while for me to finish a book. That is okay, I need to keep doing what I enjoy.
For me to complete tasks that are time-consuming, it is helpful to create a list. I always have a list of things I would like to get done. This allows me to stay focused.
A to-do list can help me see what I still need to do, but it also allows me to see what I have accomplished. This can make me feel better when things are moving along slowly.
It is essential to be careful when making a list. It can be easy to get discouraged by seeing that what one still needs to get done. It is okay not to complete the list, just focus on what you have accomplished.
It is helpful to learn a foreign language. I started to learn Spanish in 6th grade. I never knew what to expect. The process of learning English was so painful for me that I completely expected to give up after the required year of taking a language, but I chose not to.
It turned out that I fell in love with it. For some reason learning a language must occur in a different part of the brain because it turned out that I was able to catch on quickly.
I still put a lot of effort into learning Spanish, but it all came with ease. I was able to see the results that I hadn’t seen in other subjects.
My first Spanish teacher was terrific. She was part of the reason I fell in love with the language. I was able to want to continue my learning throughout my school career.
There were some frustrating times and concepts I have more of a difficult time with, but the difference was that I was able to have a drive through that frustration.
There was a teacher in high school that made me fall out of love with the language. This teacher did not understand that for me to be fluent in Spanish, I will be slower at retrieving words because that was how I speak English.
Continue reading “Learning Spanish”
OCD is not specific to brain injuries but it is never an easy thing to deal with
For those of you who don’t know, OCD stands for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. The DSM 5 defines OCD as, “the presence of obsessions, compulsions or both.”
It can be debilitating and take up most of one’s time throughout the day. The DSM 5 has plenty more under the definition, I have a link to the page at the end of my post.
Anyone can have OCD. It is not unique to a person with a brain injury. I am writing about it because I have OCD. Just like everything in my life, there is no sure way to know if it is a result of the injury or something else.
The most challenging thing I have found about OCD is trying to get people to understand what I am doing. Some compulsions are difficult to hide, which means that people will see them and ask about it.
My most visible compulsion is picking the scabs on my arms. I usually have big red spots on my arms from where I picked and the scares from the older places.
It is not a pretty sight, and people become curious about it. I have had people ask me what happened, and I just say I am allergic to mosquito bites. Someone asked if I had chicken pox.
I won’t lie, it is not fun. It is humiliating and painful to stop. I promise you that is not the only compulsion, but it is the most visible.
No matter what obstacles your brain injury gives you, you are not alone. We all struggle with something, visible or not. If anyone needs to talk to someone who gets it, let me know.
Even with a brain injury, you are not stuck with the life after it. There are ways to improve it. I went to therapy, and it decreased the intensity of my picking. There are ways to get help, and it is worth it.
Speech therapy was a slow and painful process but in the long run it was probably the best thing for me.
I have a joke I like to tell people when I talk about what I had to go through with my brain injury. I tell people that name any type of therapy, and I have been through it. Apparently, that is not true, but at times it felt like it.
The therapy I remember most is speech therapy. I did speech therapy in two different settings. When I began, I went to a home office, this was nice and private, so I wasn’t ashamed of it.
It overall felt more comfortable. I was able to have anonymity, so my friends didn’t have to know what I was doing. In elementary school, the image that I was an average kid was critical to me. I am not sure why because now I don’t care about that, but back then I did.
My first speech therapist was great. She knew how to make things fun and explain them to me in a way I understood. It allowed me to feel better about what I was doing because I had a better understanding of what I needed to work on.
My second therapist was great. She was sweet and loved her job. What I had against it was public, and I ended up missing parts of school because of it.
I also had to do that therapy in a group. Most of the time it was just another guy and me. This was a different experience from what I was used to. It always felt like a competition against him instead of having the opportunity to improve.
The fact that I had to miss reading or math lessons did not help how I did in school. It made me mad and frustrated. In the long run, it helped me. It was a good choice, and I wouldn’t change it.
Photo by Hrayr Movsisyan on Unsplash
The process of growing up is a difficult one for anyone. The application process is long and tedious. It is scary for every high school junior or senior. The addition of a brain injury complicates the process.
Brain injuries affect their humans differently. My brain injury made it, so I needed to fight to receive extra time on admissions tests. But still, my scores did not reflect my work ethic. It was very frustrating.
I needed to rely on other parts of my application to get in. I went to a small high school, so my references knew me very well. I was lucky, but some kids do not have the support that I had. It is crucial for them to find someone who can help them through this transition.
The worst part for me was once I hit submit. I couldn’t change or improve my application. I just needed to wait. As the letters poured in saying no while all my friends were getting accepted I needed to lean on my support system often.
It was a process to find schools that accepted me based on other stuff then my test scores. It is important to know there are options. Just because friends and classmates get into amazing schools doesn’t mean you are in trouble.
There is always a way to get to what you want to do. If college isn’t an option at first, there are other ways. There are gap year programs and community college to start the process that way or go into the workforce and then apply later. It is essential to know what to suggest when feelings are down about getting into schools. It is not easy for anyone, but it can be worse with a unique obstacle.
After your life has gotten back to as normal as it can be after one’s brain injury, hobbies and sports may change. It is essential to find a new hobby that you enjoy doing.
Finding your niche will allow life to feel more normal and be better than just living to go through the motions. It will take a few tries to see what you enjoy doing.
The thing that might bring pleasure may not come easy, but that doesn’t matter. If it is fun, and you enjoy it the difficulty can be dealt with.
I have found that I enjoy figure skating and let me tell you, it is not an easy thing. I love being on the ice. Even when I have a rough time learning a new jump or spin, I can step back and take a few laps then I am happy to be on the ice again.
Before figure skating, I was into dancing. The transition to skating from dancing was a simple transition that helped make my struggles in skating easy. It doesn’t have to be that kind of shift. It is all about finding what you enjoy.
I am willing to put the work that is needed to be successful because it is what I love doing it. This may be an activity that you enjoyed doing before the injury, or you may want to try something new.
What kind of stuff have you gotten into after your injury?
Wounds or injuries that someone can see just by looking at you are considered real. They earn the sympathy and respect of others. Invisible wounds are more difficult for others to understand and respect.
I have had people think I am lying about my injury because I can walk and talk. I don’t look like I am hurt or scared, and people are visual, so since I look normal, there is nothing wrong with me. The invisible wound judgment can happen with multiple injuries including mental health, cognitive disabilities, and strokes.
I am not saying people need to treat everyone with a brain injury different or sympathetically, I want understanding from people. Even though people cannot see what is going on, doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. They do not understand what exactly one is going through but not fighting your experience would be nice.
I know it is difficult, and I am not big on getting pity but being able to understand why something may be ‘more difficult than it should be’ would be great. Pity is not a fun thing to get. I have almost yelled at people in hopes to get the point across that they can communicate with me like I am an average human.
Everyone wants to be treated normally; this includes people with invisible wounds and visible wounds. It is important that others see you as human because of that what you are. Visible or invisible wounds, you are still human. Do not be afraid to stand up and tell others what you need and how they need to treat you. Being able to work in a comfortable setting is necessary.