Dreams: We all have them

Everyone has their dreams. It is important to acknowledge that dreams are different. With our own timelines certain life events occur at different times.

It is normal to wonder when the right time is to follow a dream in life. I have learned that it is never the right time for anything.

Since it is never the right time, you should just do what you want to do. It is important to just go for what you want.

No one knows what is going to happen in the future, and we can spend hours worrying about it. Or we can create our future.

Being Left behind

The feeling of being left behind is real, and it hurts. The importance of doing what you dream of doing is valid. Others cannot take your dream away from you.

When I am feeling left behind, I try to remember that everyone has a different vision. No one shares my vision, and I don’t share theirs.

The fact that we do not have the same dreams means we are on different timelines. I am working toward my goal of researching ways to aid in rehabilitation after a brain injury.

Different Dreams

That is my current dream. At some point, my goal will be finding the man I love and starting a family, but it is not it right now.

My friends that are engaged right now that is their dream. It is excellent that they are living their dream, and I am living mine.

When you are feeling left behind or left out, think about what you are working towards. Remember what you are trying to accomplish in life.

If you are not working toward a dream right now, sit down and think. What do you hope to accomplish in life?

It doesn’t have to be significant or life-changing. You just must pick something. Try to start small if you are unable to think of a dream.

If you get the chance, please check out my story to have an idea of why I began this blog.

Fear: The World can’t Help it.

We all experience fear. This only difference is how we handle it and if we let it rule our lives. This has suggestions on how to overcome fear.

With the new year upon us and there is a bunch of unknown. At least for me, the unknown means fear.

Everyone becomes afraid, and it is a natural human emotion. Fear can aid in a survival situation. It can alert you as to when something is wrong.

The problem is when you let fear hold you back from what you want to do. I am a creature of habit; fear interferes with my chance to move forward with life.

The process of getting a new job was stressful for me. For the first two months, I walked through the door, scared as to what the day would hold.

The stress and fear did not keep me from walking through the doors and facing each day. After a while, I became more comfortable, and now I wouldn’t change where I work for the world. My co-workers are some of my best friends.

Overcoming Fear

There are different ways not to let fear get in the form of how you live your life. It will prevent you from moving forward in life.

When I am doing something that scares me, I try to think about how doing the thing that scares me will benefit me in the future. This allows me to continue the event that scares me.

This suggestion is easier said than done, but I sometimes need to push through the fear and do the act.

I have found that something that helps me is relaxing, I need to take deep breaths and imagine how good things will be after the event. I also (as cliche as this is), go to my happy place, which is somewhere where I am happy and not stressed.

Fear pushes us to new limits if we don’t let it hold us back. Practice and find ways that work for you to conquer your fear.

Self-Care Importance

Self care is an important part of life for anyone, but is is vital for someone with a brain injury.

Self-care is an essential part of making sure you are happy and healthy in life. Everyone needs self-care.

Self-care is especially important if you are dealing with a brain injury; because it takes at least twice as much energy to perform a task.

You need to know when you need time for yourself and take a break from everyday duties. It is okay. Everyone needs mental health day from time to time.

When living with a brain injury, it may be more necessary to take these mental health days. Some people may not understand why you need to do this, but that is okay.

With a brain injury, you may need more mental health days than others; this is because you are using more brainpower to get through the daily tasks others coast through.

If you have people in your life that do not understand this, I say you get rid of them. They are not healthy for you to be around, and if they are real friends, they would understand what you need.

Self-Care and Support System

Real friends will respect that getting through the day may be more difficult for you than it is for them. You may need to cancel plans or reschedule them because you are having a rough day.

Family plays a vital role in this process also. They need to acknowledge that sometimes you need to have time for yourself. They of all people should understand what you are going through and the struggles you face every day.

Since family and friends know what you go through means that they need to respect what you need. Your family should be your most substantial support, and they should give you what you need.

When you have sustained a brain injury, you need to do what is right for you. The ability to take care of yourself allows you to live the healthiest life you can. A good support group will enable you to do what you need.

If you haven’t read my story of why I am blogging, please click here.

The Single Life: Living Your Best Life

There is this expectation that people of a certain age need to be in a relationship to be happy. I personally have found that I am happier being single.

From the time I was seventeen to now (24), I haven’t been single for more than a few months. After my first break up, I probably was searching for the next guy I dated but not too actively. I dated that person for about 2.5 years and dumped him, then found interest in another guy, and we dated for about 1.5 years.

The Journey

Now, I have now been single for about 9 months, and I love it. It turns out I was never actually searching for these men, except for the first one. So I spent a lot of years being in a relationship.

Finally settling into being single, allows me to revisit parts of me that were forgotten while in a relationship. I now have been able to figure out who I am as an adult.

As I grow into myself and figure out what I care about, I can find someone that actually supports my likes and accepts my dislikes without me having to change anything for them.

My routine

The life of being single has freed me to, as cheesy as it is, to focus on me. A routine has been created by me, for myself. I work, go to the gym, read, and write.

There are times, I have forgotten where I have put my phone many times. I am not waiting for another text to respond to. There is no technology in my hand when I go outside and enjoy it.

That need to be continuously connected was probably an issue coming from me and shows me that I haven’t found the right guy yet. I feel like I lost myself, and now I am starting to become myself again.

The Joy

My family has even noticed the change and welcomes it. If you are in a relationship with the correct person that is great. I am not trying to rag on relationships. I have just not found that person yet, and I am not enjoying the time I have with myself.

No matter where you are in your love life, it is vital to understand what you need and give your brain a break. The person you are with should be able to respect that and know that you and the health of your mind comes first.

Please read my story if you haven’t yet.

News that the injury happened

Support is vital to the healing system. A brain injury is new to their life and need to work on accepting what happened.

No matter when you get your brain injury, someone is going to give you the news that you sustained a brain injury. Whether it is the doctor or family when you wake up or if it is your parents when you are of the right age.

The news is difficult to hear, and I could imagine it tough to give. It is a life-changing event, and people handle rough news in different ways.

I think that the best thing people can do when they break the news to them is just giving it time. The person just heard something tragic about what happened to them.

It will take some time to accept it. There are days where I have not accepted it, and I have had my injury for 24 years. I have known about it for probably 16 years but still.

Taking the News in

As the person telling them, let them come to you with questions. The sheer fact they found out they have a brain injury is overwhelming enough.

They will ask more questions about the event when they are ready. Some may be ready to ask questions right away and others it may take a few days to begin to wonder.

If it is you who has received the news, allow yourself to take it in. It is a lot to hear. When you are ready questions will come, and you can begin to understand what happened and what it means for your future.

There are still things I am learning about my brain injury. After one has come to terms with the event, they may start thinking towards the future.

Thinking about the future is a good sign, I believe. This may involve talks about therapy and ways to get back to their best life.

This is not a subject to push on. Let the person who gets the news come to you.

Please read my story to further understand why I started this blog.

TBI vs. ABI: The differences

There can be confusion about what different kinds of brain injuries people have. And it doesn’t matter which one you have. It is a journey we are taking together.

Some people have heard the terms of traumatic brain injury (TBI) and acquired brain injury (ABI). Most of the time when you hear about brain injuries people are most likely talking about traumatic brain injuries.

A traumatic brain injury is an injury to the brain caused by an outside force. This force is usually a result of a violent blow to the head. This is common with athletes and especially football players who get tackled all the time.

An acquired brain injury is a bit fuzzier. It is an injury to the brain caused by damage after birth. This includes strokes, lack of oxygen, diseases or infection. There are multiple other causes of an ABI.

I understand that the prevalence of TBI is more significant than ABIs and sometimes ABIs occur because of sustained trauma. But ABIs are still a real brain injury. It doesn’t make your brain injury any less than others.

Own your brain injury no matter what type of injury you have. It is who you are, and you need to embrace it.

It has taken me years to decide that it doesn’t matter how I got my brain injury. I have one, and I am on a similar ride with everyone else who has a brain injury.

We are on a journey, and most days it feels uphill, but we are never alone. TBI or ABI, it is our journey. We can share in our accomplishments and share our sadness.

Please read about how I got my ABI by clicking here.

New Challenge: Sticking with it.

It can be daunting to take on a new challenge after a brain injury. I find that if it is something you are passionate about, it will feel less like work.

Learning something new with a brain injury can be daunting. The first step is deciding what your new challenge should be. Pick something you are interested in. For me, this was figure skating.

Of course, you never really know what you are going to be passionate about until you try it. Sometimes you will have to change because you decide the effort isn’t worth it.

I tried different sports and hobbies. I ended up choosing figure skating as the thing to learn and put the effort in.

What about the activity you are learning is strenuous depends on where the brain injury is. This may dictate what you decide is more enjoyable to learn.

The activity or task that you decide to learn will probably take a lot of work. Unless you are born with the talent you need for the thing you choose to do, it will take some pushing, and a brain injury will make it more challenging.

It sucks. I said I was going to quit skating many times, but I am still here. It took a ton of work to get to where I am in my skating. I am never going to be an Olympic skater.

I think that the main reason I have been able to stick with it is that I am passionate about it and I have found something I love to do.

This is essential. If you do not wake up and think about practicing or want to go to practice, you may want to try to find something else. That is okay.

You will know you have found the right challenge when it doesn’t feel like work most days.

If you haven’t read my story please click here.

Process of Coming to Terms

At some point after a brain injury you will learn what happened. You will have to learn a different way of living or learn to adapt. It can be tough at first but it gets better.

Since I got my injury at a young age, my parents needed to explain to me what happened. Of course, they had to wait until I was old enough to understand and process it.


Before that moment, I remember thinking to myself that something ‘wasn’t right with me.’ I had this feeling that there was something that made me different. When kids are growing up, being different can be a big deal.


When my parents decided it was time for me to know, my mind went blank. I don’t really remember what I thought or how I reacted. It was big news.


This news was tough to wrap my head around. I am sure it is no matter how old you are when you get your injury. There are a lot of questions going through your mind.


Fortunately for me, I was able to take time to process it. I was young enough when I initially heard the story that I kept adding details as I grew. This made for a much slower time to process.


My questions came with that and not all at once. The question that appeared a lot was why. Why did this happen to me?


I am still trying to answer that question, but I have to believe that there is some reason it happened. There is a reason for everything.

Process and Acceptance


Accepting what has happened to you will take time. It requires time to fully process and understand what your life is going to look like now.


This takes time, and everyone will have their own timeline for it to happen. It is a huge change. Allow yourself to grieve and be mad.


After that step, you need to be willing to learn what your new life is going to look like.

If you are interesting in the story of my brain injury please click here.

Attitude: It can Change is Everything

When dealing with a brain injury, everyday tasks can become difficult. This is frustrating but there are ways to get around it.

When something terrible happens to you in life, it is simple to dig a hole. This hole is full of why me’s and feeling sorry for yourself which is a bad attitude that won’t make things better.


I am only human. I have been in the hole before. It turns out that nothing about the situation changes or can get worse while in the hole.


If the hole isn’t too thick, it can be easier to come out of it. This doesn’t mean you can’t get frustrated or sad because you can’t do anything. It means to recognize the feeling. Allow it to sit with you for a little but then push it aside.


Pushing it aside can be difficult. Maybe it includes finding a different way to do what you want to. Perhaps it means understanding a smaller thing you have to accomplish first.

Attitude: Change


Everyone is different so what is needed to dig yourself out of your hole may be a different strategy compared to mine.


I have found that as tricky as it is, sometimes I have to step away from what I am trying to do. I spend a few hours doing something else and then come back to try it again.


This technique allows me to cool off, forget about what I was frustrated about and then come back with a fresh head.


This gives me a new perspective, and I may find a new way to try what I want to do. At times I need to walk away and come back a few times, but I have been able to get it.


Finding a technique that works for you may require some trial and error. One way may not work, but then you will find the perfect style. It may take some time and can be frustrating, but once you see what works for you, you will be able to glide through life.

Work: Time Management

A full time job can take a lot out of a person with a brain injury. It is vital to find a good balance that works for you.

I work in health care. It is pretty tiring most of the day, but it is gratifying. I love my job. To finish personal items out of work, I had to figure out how to not become mentally fatigued.

Mental fatigue can be severe to overcome. I have tried to give myself a mental break. I have decided that my commute is my mental break, so I vent about what happened that day, and then I blast some music.

This allows me to come home and not be completely exhausted from work. I give myself a break, and then after dinner, I am ready to fulfill my to-do list.

I make sure that I know exactly what I need to get done that night. It allows me to skip figuring out what needs to be done and just do it.

The end of the night, when I am getting ready to go to sleep, I decide what I need to do the next day. This allows me to wind down but also continue to be productive.

The important thing is to prioritize my list. This makes sure everything is done on time. The larger, more time-consuming stuff is done over many nights or on the weekends.

I need to keep reminding myself that sometimes I need to take a break from work. Especially with a full-time job and brain injury, there are times where I need to come home and just relax.

It is essential to know when your mind needs a break and understand it is okay not to get stuff done for one night.

If you have not done so, please read the story about my brain injury by clicking here.