Tag: #abi

Therapy: Make Time for Yourself

Therapy is a healthy part of your life. The world is crazy and personal life doesn’t take a break. It’s beneficial to have someone to talk to

Therapy tends to get a bad rap. When people hear that someone is going to therapy, they immediately go to something is wrong with them.

The world is a crazy, unpredictable place. It can feel overwhelming. On top of what is happening in the public world, things are going on in your personal life.

No Shame in going to Therapy

There is no shame in needing extra help to navigate what is going on in life. I always turn to my friends and family, but there are also times when I want someone’s opinion who is completely removed.

It can be beneficial to hear an opinion from someone who has no relation to what is happening in life. Therapy can offer a different and new perspective.

The therapist could provide a piece to the puzzle you have been missing.
I felt at the time that therapy is a nuisance. “I have so much to do, and I don’t have time to sit and talk about my feelings to someone.” It is okay to feel. I am sure everyone could have these thoughts at times.

Choosing Yourself

I have found that when I have those thoughts, that is probably when I need it the most. It requires discipline. Discipline when you need it the most can be the most difficult.

It is worth it. I view taking the time to go to therapy as choosing yourself. When you choose yourself, you will be happier in life.

We all have feelings, and some of the feelings take time to process. We are all just trying to live the best life we can live. If for you that means going to therapy, do it!

Even when life is good, keep going. If you keep going to therapy even when you feel like you don’t need it, when something does come up, you already have an appointment. You can process things as they come up, and you don’t have to wait for the next available appointment.

Therapy is suitable for everyone. There is no shame in talking to someone; it is a healthy choice. Choose yourself.

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Trusting Doctor’s Opinions in an Unknown World

The ability to trust a doctor is crucial. They are the ones we turn to when things are wrong. We need to trust that they advocate for us.

Having a doctor you trust is vital. When there is something wrong with your body, doctors are who we turn to. They are considered the experts.

I used just to accept that my doctor knew everything and would listen to my concerns. While I have always been heard, my recently received responses are disheartening.

I have gained some weight and developed a sharp pain in my stomach. I felt dismissed when I went to my first doctor to discuss my symptoms. They told me to lose weight, and everything will return to normal.

I accepted this because they were the doctor, and they knew best. I began my journey to lose weight. A few months in, something didn’t feel right. I trusted my doctor and started the program he wanted me to do.

Turning Point

When I began my first full-time job, I changed my health insurance provider, which meant switching doctors. After a year of my pain getting worse, I went to my new doctor.

At this appointment, I had probably gained more weight or didn’t lose any. The doctor listened to my story and referred me to a gastroenterologist. The suggestion was that I get an endoscopy and colonoscopy.

I felt excited that someone had listened to me and accepted that there might be more than just my weight. While these aren’t pleasant tests, they did turn up conditions. I was diagnosed with gastritis and esophagitis.

They also found a precancerous polyp in my colon. That is when it hit me; if I hadn’t changed my doctor, that polyp would have probably turned into cancer.

Finding Trust

The diagnosis also meant that I could start healing and living my life. I felt great until a month before my colonoscopy and endoscopy. Fast-forward to now, I still have my diagnosis.

The good news is that I have amazing doctors that I completely trust. I now have faith that I will be heard and worked with when I have an issue.

I have started a blog about my journey in healing gastritis. If you are curious about my journey, please check it out.

As always, you can follow me on social media. Here is the page that provides all the information.

Regrets: Life is Full of Them

Regrets are a part of decision-making. They happen. They are also a consequence of taking risks. Some risks flop, but taking risks allows forward movement.

When making decisions, regrets may happen. There are times when you make one choice and then realize it is not something you want to do.

I was recently in a situation where I regretted saying yet to something. I decided to quit my job, which I stand by. However, during my last two weeks, I was asked if I wanted to go part-time. At the time, I said yes. Days later, when I was still stressing about it, I realized that I regretted this decision.

I finished working last Friday. After a stressful afternoon, I told my boss that I decided that working part-time would not work for me. I ended up just quitting. While it is not the easiest to quit a job without a plan, sometimes you have to do it.

This job was not good for my mental health, and it was time for me to find something that I could call a career. I have excellent support around me and understanding people.

I believe that regrets are part of life. When you regret a decision, there are things you have to remember and steps you can take to correct it.

How to Handle Regrets

The first thing to remember is that most decisions are never final. If you make one choice, you can choose to change the choice or make a different decision to change what you picked.

Next is that you should feel no shame in changing your mind. It is difficult to tell someone you will do something and then backtrack on what you said. While this is difficult, you need to remember it is your life, and you have to feel good about what you do with it.

When you choose your happiness over pleasing people, life will be enjoyable. It is okay to have regrets. The key is to know how to fix it to feel good about your life.

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Giving Thanks: Making the most of life

Thanksgiving is a time to remind us that we need to take time to give thanks. It is always important to give thanks.

Thursday is Thanksgiving in the United States. Sometimes after an injury, it can be challenging to find what you are grateful for. There is always something to give thanks about.

I believe that life will be happier if one can find at least something good in life. I think I have said it before, and I will repeat it, you are here reading this right now. That means you are alive and breathing. That is something to be thankful for.

There are times when you feel as though there is nothing to be thankful for, but I promise there is always something. Being grateful can improve mood and outlook on life.

Life can be difficult. There are plenty of times when nothing seems to be going your way. This can be especially true after suffering a brain injury.

The importance of appreciating when you have can help you get through the day. Long, hard days are rough and finding even one thing to be thankful for can turn your outlook on the day around.

Things to give thanks for

I am thankful for my family. They never gave up on me and stuck with me when I needed them the most. They are the reason I can do everything I can today.

I am grateful that I was able to finish school. It took a lot of work and persistence, but I never gave up and worked as hard as possible to be successful.

I am thrilled that I have gained my independence to do things I want to do. There was a question when I was born as to what I would be able to do.

As crazy as it sounds, I am thankful for my brain injury. It is the reason I am who I am and work as hard as I do to succeed in what I want.

This week, I challenge you to keep track of things you are thankful for. You don’t even have to celebrate Thanksgiving on Thursday to participate in this challenge. Let me know what you come up with.

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New Job: Getting used to it

A new job can be scary and overwhelming. Here is some advice I have that helped me get used to being back in the workforce.

New Lifestyle

Two months ago, I got a new job. I had been looking for a job for about nine months. On top of those nine months, I had been staying at home for almost a year before that.
While I was excited about a new job, there were a lot of nerves. I didn’t want to be away from home for many hours at a time. The first week was rough, I cried every day, but I still went.
After a week or two, life at work started to feel more normal. I was able to leave the house without a pit in my stomach. I want to offer advice to people who are getting back into the workforce.

One thing at a time


My first piece of advice is to take it one day at a time. If that is too much, try one hour at a time. This will allow the job not to feel as overwhelming.
Your first few days at a job will be full of rules, duties, and learning how your company works. All of this information can create anxiety. This is where taking information one thing at a time is vital. Taking things slowly will allow you to feel calm and like you can succeed.

Talk to Coworkers

Another way to help the transition into a new job is by talking to your coworkers. You are going to spend much of your day with these people. You might as well know who they are.
They do not have to be your best friend, but as long as you have some coworkers, you get along with. This will make lunchtime less stressful and create a network to turn to if you have a problem or need help with something.

Find Routine

The final piece of advice I have is to create a morning and evening routine. My morning routine allows me to sleep as long as I can before needing to get ready for work.
My evening routine lets me get stuff done that is not work-related, as well as getting myself ready for the next day. Later I will talk more about what my routines look like.
The act of getting used to a new job can be scary, intimidating, and anxiety-provoking. Remember, a job is not forever. If you still hate it in 3 months, you can quit and find a different one.

If you are new here, welcome! Please read more about me in My Story.

Helmets: They save lives

Helmets are an important piece of equipment. Just like knee pads, they can help protect a vital organ that allows you to function.

Thankfully, my dad wears helmets. A little over a month ago, there was a severe accident in my family. My dad was on his usual bike ride when he had his accident. There was no foul play involved. We have minimal information as to what happened.

He was unable to remember anything for more than five seconds. After scans and tests, his doctors concluded that he was suffering from a slight brain bleed. After 24 hours in the hospital, he improved enough to come home.

A brain bleed is just what it sounds, but for my dad, the bleed wasn’t entirely in the brain; it was in the layers between the skull and the brain. It was a minimal bleed.

Once he was home, he slept a lot and had to take things slow. Now, he is almost entirely back to normal. That is a result of a concussion. It is a slow process, but every day he continues to improve.

Normal means that he is able to work all day without the need for a nap. His recovery is impressive. There were some estimates that the healing process would take more than three months.

He has not fully healed, but he is now expected to make a full recovery. This prognosis is thanks to the fact that he was wearing his helmet.

Helmets provide protection

A helmet will not stop every injury, but it can save your life. Some people choose not to wear helmets because the helmets are not fashionable.

Our culture needs to normalize wearing a helmet. The helmet needs to be worn for safety and protection.

I tell you this story to ask you to wear a helmet when you participate in sports requiring one.

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Anniversary: Your Second Chance

The anniversary of your injury is a time to celebrate your second chance at life. How do you acknowledge your injury anniversary?

The anniversary of when a brain injury is a day your life changed forever. A few days ago marked 26 years since my brain injury. It is not much of a big deal other than the fact it is my birthday.

The sole reason I don’t view it as a huge deal because I didn’t have a life before. While it is not a big deal for me, others view this day differently.

As I said earlier, this day is the day one’s life changed forever. It is the day where your old life ended, and your new life begins.

The way you handle the anniversary is vital to your happiness in life. I understand it is tough to see your life change. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason.

While you may not understand why your brain became injured, but it did. Now there is a new purpose in your life. It is time to get excited about what the future can hold.

It is okay to mourn the life you used to know; however, you need to be able to pick yourself up after some time. After you are done recovering, find things you enjoy doing.

Celebrate your Anniversary

If you can find something you can do and enjoy it, begin to do it. While creating your new life may take some time, you can create something you look forward to.

When the anniversary of your new life beginning arrives, you can take time to remember the life you used to live. I would encourage you to make a list of suitable items you accomplished throughout the year.

Your anniversary can be a rebirth. You can celebrate it like a second birthday. Celebrate with friends and family or do something special for just yourself.

I would suggest not allowing the day to just being another day in your life. At least acknowledge what the day is and its importance.

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Physical Health: Staying Active is Good for You

While mental health is important, but you also need to focus on physical health. Here are some tips to get you up and move while stuck inside.

This week let’s talk about physical health since the last time I discussed mental health. When both of these are a focus, life’s challenges do not seem as big of a deal.

I specifically mentioned last week that exercise could help with your mental state. Physical health not only means exercise but also means eating well, sleeping enough, relaxing, and keeping good hygiene.

Some of these listed were included in my mental health post. It turns out they are very closely related. This, at least, gives you less to do to stay healthy.

The obvious answer to staying healthy physically is being active. Exercise and being active are not the same. It is important to do both. Exercise is more intentional and repetitive actions, while physical activity is any movements your body makes throughout the day.

Physical Health Tips

We don’t all have the time to exercise every day, but we can all make sure we are physically active. The activity can include doing chores, working in the garden, and playing with your kids.

I personally go outside and play with my dog a couple of times a day. This doesn’t feel like a chore, but it gets me moving and outside.

This tip is something we have all heard before; part of physical health is eating healthy. The classic saying is we are what we eat. But our energy is what we eat.

While healthier food is not as exciting as candy or chips, or even fried food, it will give you more energy. This will give you the energy you need to stay active.

The last thing I want to discuss to address physical health is relaxing. When you become stressed or worried, it affects your mind and can have physical changes.

Stress can increase blood pressure, cause stomach ulcers, increase tension in the body, and so much more. One of the ways to combat is to practice relaxation.

There are several ways to relax. One quick and easy way to relax is to take a deep breath. If you stop for two minutes, close your eyes, and slow your breath.

When breathing in, count 7, and do the same when you breathe out. This will help release the tension in your body.

Explore ways that make you feel relaxed; it could be turning off your phone and watching a funny movie.

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Needing A Break: Understand What You Need

When there is so much going on globally, taking a break from doing things you love is necessary and okay. Everyone needs a break at times.

It has been a while since I posted. I guess without knowing it, I needed a break. When you have a brain injury, it is important to know your limits.
This has been a tough year for everyone. A lot is going on in the world, and our lives all look different.

I ended up needing to take a break from writing this blog. The thing about needing a break, sometimes you do not even know you need it.

I never thought to myself, ‘okay, I need to focus on other things right now.’ This just got pushed to the back of my mind and while I am bummed, I must have needed it.

Sometimes, with a brain injury, you need to slow down for a bit. It isn’t easy to know when you need to step back.

I knew because I didn’t take the time to write and create posts. Another way you can know is that you lack motivation for something that you are passionate about.

If your activity was fun and gave your life meaning, but now it is work and a growling task, you may need to step back for a bit.

There is no shame in taking time for yourself, as it allows you to recharge and decide what you truly want to return to what you are taking a break from.

There is no set length of time of how long this break should be. I have run into issues of people not understanding why you need to are taking a break.

I have made so much improvement that people forget that I am carrying an injured brain, but I try to remember that it is not their fault.

Helping Others Understand Taking a Break

People who do not live with a brain injury get tired, but I believe that they also get tired and need time. It just may be less frequent and take less time.

Neither is better than the other. There needs to be an understanding between everyone to allow each other the time to rest and recharge.

I would try to communicate with my family members and friends. Let them know what you need and how they can support you in it.

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Songs: An Inspiration when Life gets Tough

Music is a big part of my life. These are a list of songs that get me through difficult times in my life. They inspire me to keep going.

When you are faced with a difficult day, songs can help turn the day around. Several pieces are my go-to when I feel I can’t handle what the day is throwing at me.

These songs allow me to remember that it does get better, and everything I am going through is for a reason. Music can inspire me to continue and push through.

Songs: The List

The first song is Who I am by Nick Jonas and the Administration. This song is all about wanting someone to love you for who you are and who you can become. I have been through relationships, and no one has genuinely accepted my brain injury. I believe that my brain injury does not define me, but it is a part of my that is never going away, but I long for the day that someone accepts all of me. This song gives me hope.

On my way here by Clay Aiken, speaks to me beyond levels. The critical line is “to fly; I have to want to leave the ground,” take chances. There is no guarantee, but you do not know what you can do until you try. The struggles you face from your brain injury only makes you stronger. When you conquer them, you proving to everyone that nothing will hold you back or stop your dreams.

The next song is Worth It by Danielle Bradberry. This song reminds me and hopefully reminds you that we are here for a reason. We are worth every breath we take. It is vital to know our worth because there are times that others do not. They may want to give up on us and walk away, but we need to remember that we are 110% worth it.

Who Says by Selena Gomez, and the Scene shows me that there is no reason to listen to the doubters. Who cares what they say, all that matters is what you think of yourself. Nobody is perfect, but people tend to believe they are more perfect than us. That is not okay, but we need to believe in ourselves before expecting others to think we are perfect.

Stronger by Kelly Clarkson can remind us that we are stronger because of our brain injuries or whatever else you have gone through. It didn’t kill us, so the only other option is that it made us stronger. Nobody said it was easy, but we have fought back and come out on top due to our strength.

I was introduced to Fight Song by Rachel Platten through someone at my hospital. I fell in love with it for the first time, because we are now fighting a battle for the rest of our lives. We are fighters, we are survivors, and we are fighting every day and need to believe in ourselves. We have gotten this far, lets we can keep going.

The last song is Unwritten by Natasha Bedingfield. I decided to end with this song because our brain injury is just a few chapters of our lives. We still have many chapters to write. Our wounds do follow it, but we can decide what we want the rest of our book to say. We can choose if it will be an inspiring tale or if you decide just to give up.

These songs can connect with people who have suffered any type of hardship. If you have not suffered from a brain injury but are suffering from something else, replace the word brain injury with whatever you are going through. This is not a complete list of songs. Let me know if you have a go-to song. I may write a part two later on.

I do not own rights to any of these songs, please search and listen to them so the artists can get credit for their hard work.

If you are interested in learning more about me, please read my story.