#bisurvivor Archives

Spanish: Learning a foreign language

Spanish is growing popularity. It is good to know a language other than the one you speak usually. Sometimes, it is difficult to learn with a brain injury

It is helpful to learn a foreign language. I started to learn Spanish in 6th grade. I never knew what to expect. The process of learning English was so painful for me that I completely expected to give up after the required year of taking a language, but I chose not to.

It turned out that I fell in love with it. For some reason learning a language must occur in a different part of the brain because it turned out that I was able to catch on quickly.
I still put a lot of effort into learning Spanish, but it all came with ease. I was able to see the results that I hadn’t seen in other subjects.

My first Spanish teacher was terrific. She was part of the reason I fell in love with the language. I was able to want to continue my learning throughout my school career.

Spanish: Troubles

There were some frustrating times and concepts I have more of a difficult time with, but the difference was that I was able to have a drive through that frustration.

There was a teacher in high school that made me fall out of love with the language. This teacher did not understand that for me to be fluent in Spanish, I will be slower at retrieving words because that was how I speak English.

This caused a lot of problems between us, and it was not fun. I ended up dreading going to class. The homework was just something I needed to do. It made me sad.
In my junior year of high school, I had the opportunity to live in Guatemala for two weeks. I lived with a family, and they didn’t speak any English.

OCD: A battle with obsessions and compulsions

OCD is not specific to brain injuries but it is never an easy thing to deal with

For those of you who don’t know, OCD stands for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. The DSM 5 defines OCD as, “the presence of obsessions, compulsions or both.”

It can be debilitating and take up most of one’s time throughout the day. The DSM 5 has plenty more under the definition, I have a link to the page at the end of my post.

Anyone can have OCD. It is not unique to a person with a brain injury. I am writing about it because I have OCD. Just like everything in my life, there is no sure way to know if it is a result of the injury or something else.

The most challenging thing I have found about OCD is trying to get people to understand what I am doing. Some compulsions are difficult to hide, which means that people will see them and ask about it.

OCD: Compulsions

My most visible compulsion is picking the scabs on my arms. I usually have big red spots on my arms from where I picked and the scares from the older places.

It is not a pretty sight, and people become curious about it. I have had people ask me what happened, and I just say I am allergic to mosquito bites. Someone asked if I had chicken pox.

I won’t lie, it is not fun. It is humiliating and painful to stop. I promise you that is not the only compulsion, but it is the most visible.

No matter what obstacles your brain injury gives you, you are not alone. We all struggle with something, visible or not. If anyone needs to talk to someone who gets it, let me know.

Even with a brain injury, you are not stuck with the life after it. There are ways to improve it. I went to therapy, and it decreased the intensity of my picking. There are ways to get help, and it is worth it.

If you want to know more about why I am writing this blog, please click here.

Speech Therapy

Speech therapy was a slow and painful process but in the long run it was probably the best thing for me.

I have a joke I like to tell people when I talk about what I had to go through with my brain injury. I tell people that name any type of therapy, and I have been through it. Apparently, that is not true, but at times it felt like it.
The therapy I remember most is speech therapy. I did speech therapy in two different settings. When I began, I went to a home office, this was nice and private, so I wasn’t ashamed of it.

It overall felt more comfortable. I was able to have anonymity, so my friends didn’t have to know what I was doing. In elementary school, the image that I was an average kid was critical to me. I am not sure why because now I don’t care about that, but back then I did.

Speech therapy: Therapist

My first speech therapist was great. She knew how to make things fun and explain them to me in a way I understood. It allowed me to feel better about what I was doing because I had a better understanding of what I needed to work on.

My second therapist was great. She was sweet and loved her job. What I had against it was public, and I ended up missing parts of school because of it.
I also had to do that therapy in a group. Most of the time it was just another guy and me. This was a different experience from what I was used to. It always felt like a competition against him instead of having the opportunity to improve.

The fact that I had to miss reading or math lessons did not help how I did in school. It made me mad and frustrated. In the long run, it helped me. It was a good choice, and I wouldn’t change it.

If you missed the reason I started this blog, click here for my story.

Photo by Hrayr Movsisyan on Unsplash

College Applications and Brain Injuries

The college application process is a lot for any high schooler. It is even more scary when your brain injury is preventing you from doing your best.

The process of growing up is a difficult one for anyone. The college application process is long and tedious. It is scary for every high school junior or senior. The addition of a brain injury complicates the process.

Brain injuries affect their humans differently. My brain injury made it, so I needed to fight to receive extra time on admissions tests. But still, my scores did not reflect my work ethic. It was very frustrating.

I needed to rely on other parts of my application to get in. I went to a small high school, so my references knew me very well and I was lucky, but some kids do not have the support that I had. It is crucial for them to find someone who can help them through this transition.

Submission of college applications

The worst part for me was once I hit submit. I couldn’t change or improve my application. I just needed to wait. As the letters poured in saying no while all my friends were getting accepted I needed to lean on my support system often.

It was a process to find schools that accepted me based on other stuff then my test scores. It is important to know there are options. Just because friends and classmates get into amazing schools doesn’t mean you are in trouble.

There is always a way to get to what you want to do. If college isn’t an option at first, there are other ways. There are gap year programs and community college to start the process that way or go into the workforce and then apply later. It is essential to know what to suggest when feelings are down about getting into schools. It is not easy for anyone, but it can be worse with a unique obstacle.

If you are interested in my story and why I have started this blog, click here.

Hobby: What do you love to do

A hobby is important to find. After life has changed, finding an activity that is enjoyable to perform allows a sense of a normal life.

After your life has gone back to as normal as it can be after one’s brain injury, hobbies and sports may change. It is essential to find a new hobby that you enjoy doing.
Finding your niche will allow life to feel more normal and be better than just living to go through the motions. It will take a few tries to see what you enjoy doing.
The hobby that might bring pleasure may not come easy, but that doesn’t matter. If it is fun, and you enjoy it the difficulty can be dealt with.
I have found that I enjoy figure skating and let me tell you, it is not an easy thing. I love being on the ice. Even when I have a rough time learning a new jump or spin, I can step back and take a few laps then I am happy to be on the ice again.
Before figure skating, my hobby was dancing. The transition to skating from dancing was a simple transition that helped make my struggles in skating easy. It doesn’t have to be that kind of shift. It is all about finding what you enjoy.
I am willing to put the work needed to be successful because I love participating in my hobby. This may be an activity that you enjoyed doing before the injury, or you may want to try something new.
What kind of stuff do you enjoy doing after your injury?

In case you missed it, please read my story about why I started this blog.

Invisible Wounds: Injuries that cannot be Seen

A brain injury is just that, an injury. The one problem is that you can’t see the injury so people do not understand how to treat brain injuries.

Wounds or injuries that someone can see just by looking at you are considered real. They earn the sympathy and respect of others. Invisible wounds are more difficult for others to understand and respect.

I have had people think I am lying about my injury because I can walk and talk. I don’t look like I am hurt or scared, and people are visual, so since I look normal, there is nothing wrong with me. The invisible wound judgment can happen with multiple injuries including mental health, cognitive disabilities, and strokes.

I am not saying people need to treat everyone with a brain injury different or sympathetically, I want understanding from people. Even though I have an invisible wound, doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. They do not understand what exactly one is going through but not fighting your experience would be nice.

I know it is difficult, and I am not big on getting pity but being able to understand why something may be ‘more difficult than it should be’ would be great. Pity is not a fun thing to get. I have almost yelled at people in hopes to get the point across that they can communicate with me like I am an average human.

Everyone wants to be treated normally; this includes people with invisible wounds and visible wounds. It is important that others see you as human because of that what you are. Visible or invisible wounds, you are still human. Do not be afraid to stand up and tell others what you need and how they need to treat you. Being able to work in a comfortable setting is necessary.

In case you missed it, here is my story about why I started this blog.

Victim: A Heavy Word with a lot of Background

The word victim can produce negative feeling. It can be tough to accept the word or the fact that you are one.

The word victim and survivor are strange to me. The tough part about my brain injury is that I don’t have a life to compare it to. Yes, I lost a lot when it happened, but I never had it. I lost a lot, but we will never actually know what I missed, only what I got.

I am subject to the world around me, but I see the victim as a negative word. It means someone who suffered from an event that was not positive. So yes, the word victim is correct in this situation. I don’t feel like a victim. I am a survivor. Survivor is a more positive word.

Survivor came out of a tragic situation and can move forward with their life. A survivor can make the most of their case after the event that happened to them.

I feel like since I never had a life before the accident I do not see myself as a victim or survivor. I do not feel like a victim. But, I am. I survived a traumatic event that changed the course of my life and I just missed the time before my life changed. I have had to deal with the consequences of the accident, but I am still a survivor.

It is nothing to be ashamed of, being a survivor makes you stronger. Everyone is a survivor of something, and it is important to celebrate it. It will allow you to live life to the fullest.

What do you guys think about the words survivor or victim? Should we change the negative connotations for people associated with it?

In case you are not sure why I am writing this blog, please read my story.

Support System: They are Important and Valued

A support system is everything. They are cheerleaders, shoulder to cry on and warriors when needed. They are there to make life easier.

The recovery of a brain injury can be a lonely one. Having a good support system with you is essential. Your people can have various roles they play. They can be a shoulder to cry on, aid in performing exercises or taking you to appointments. Whatever you need, it is crucial that you at least have someone in your corner.

I got lucky with my support system. My two most prominent supporters are my mom and dad. They were always willing to give me what I needed and supported me in what I wanted to do. They gave me shoulder to cry on when life seemed hopeless and they were always my largest cheerleaders. If I wanted to try something they made it happen. There was one time when I was younger where they let me go to physical therapy just because I wanted to stand on one foot.

Support System: Choice

What I find most amazing about my parents is that they didn’t expect to raise a child like me. They made the choice to be my support system and that they would stick with me and give me the best life I could live. I would not be where I am or who I am today without their support. I guarantee that it was difficult at times, but they were still there when I needed them.

No one ever chooses to have their loved one suffer a brain injury but how they want to react will make all the difference. It is not a comfortable situation to be in. My doctors were preparing my parents for me not to be able to live on my own or walk. I can not imagine what was going through their head. But they never once walked away from me. A support system can make or break your recovery. Surrounding yourself with warm and understanding people is essential. People who will be willing to fight for your best interest even when you can’t.

In case you missed it, here is my story and why I am writing this blog.

Blame: Where Should it be Placed?

When difficult events happen in life that make daily living tough, it is easy to find someone to blame.

Blame is an interesting word. When you blame someone, you are holding them accountable for whatever they did or what you think they did. It is easy to criticize someone for something that is not ideal. It is difficult not to place blame when you’re in a frustrating situation. In my case, there was someone to point blame to too quickly, but there are some instances where it requires more creativity, and the easy out does not always make sense.

There are times where I blame the brain injury in general. It makes life easier when it gets frustrating. For me, the real blame is the hospital. Every time I couldn’t do something I wanted to, I would fault the people who “did this to me.” I grew up blaming the hospital, this made the stuff I couldn’t do, their fault. The blame got worse the harder a task was, and the more I tried. Because of attacking others I felt better about myself.
I am sure everyone has felt this way, even ones without a brain injury. The brain injury is just another venue to use for the blame. It is an excellent way to explain why you can’t do something or why it takes you longer to complete a task. It is not fair to play the blame game, but it makes life more comfortable and more bearable.

My Story of my Life with a Brain Injury

This is my story about how I got my brain injury and my journey through my school years. It gives background about why I began writing this blog

This post is telling my story. Please comment on any subjects you would like me to talk about on this blog.

I am 23 years old, and I have a bachelor’s degree in Exercise and Sports Science. I have lived with my acquired brain injury for my entire life due to a mistake during the birthing process. My mom got an overdose of Pitocin. That mistake caused me distress. This resulted in me trying to take my first breath while I was still in the womb. The team was unaware of what had happened. It was a rush to get me out when I got out my APGAR score was 2. I was not breathing and was blue and purple.

They whisked me away and put me on a stretcher made for infants. They put me on an ambulance and took me to the children’s hospital. I was a Children’s for a week in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. I was on oxygen, had a feeding tube, and the CT scans showed that parts of my frontal cortex was dead. The doctors were warning my parents how I may not be able to walk or live on my own. They had no idea what was going to happen.

After spending a week at the Children’s hospital, I moved to a hospital that closer to home. After a few days there, I returned to go home, still on oxygen. I had seizures for six weeks and had to stay on oxygen for six months. At this point, it was just a waiting game.

After the Hospitals

As I got older, I went to my fair share of therapists before I even started school. At first, I thought nothing was wrong because I didn’t know any better because I was unaware of my story. I went to physical therapy and occupational therapy. I didn’t notice significant differences until about second grade. In second grade I began to take speech therapy. Sometimes, my sessions were in the middle of the school day which meant I took time out of subjects that I needed to learn to about. Other times I went to someone else after school, which meant I did not hang out with friends.

I had to go to speech therapy because I was able to think of what I wanted to say but it could not make the path to my mouth where I could articulate what I was feeling. In second grade I took time to take tests to ‘prove’ that I had a brain injury. The testing was for all the legal stuff that went on. The results showed a brain injury was present, that I had a brain injury. The testing process required me to take more time off of school. This made me feel even more alienated.

After all the testing and when I got to a point where I was able to stop speech therapy, my life became normal. This was nice and I enjoy this part of my story. I was able to have a childhood. I could enjoy my dance classes after school. After finishing elementary school, I changed my sport from dancing to figure skating. The ice is where I feel my best. It allows me to forget the differences and struggles in my life. This is so freeing, but sometimes it is a problem because I let myself get so frustrated at how long it takes me to learn a new skill.

My story: After School

The next time I had to face major difficulties with my brain injury was when it was time to apply to colleges. I can work my butt off in school and get decent grades, but my test scores don’t make that believable. I was lucky enough to get extra time to take a test, but that still didn’t help. It took me transferring school to find a school that I could excel in. When I found the right school for me, I was able to graduate with a Bachelor of Science in Exercise and Sports Science.

This is my story until now and now I am waiting to find out what my next step in life is.